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On top of the nearly nonexistent infrastructure, staff frequently damaged luggage, drank on the job, and in general, had no clue what the fuck they were doing. If the Worldstock music festival were a piece of architecture, it would be a flight of stairs consisting of three cement blocks held together by a carpet. “Is this supposed to be a music festival?” a third person demanded, “If it is, it’s about as slapped together as what Judy’s currently wearing.”

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To make matters worse, Worldstock fell on the same weekend as a major pre-Olympic sailing race series that utilized all of the local hotels, vacation rentals and resources. No infrastructure, only half-finished skeletons of actual stages, and no hope.

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The gates to Worldstock opened.Ĭontrary to what Laurie, Marty, Gwen, and thousands of others had been told Worldstock actually took place in an abandoned resort development full of roads that led to nowhere. Eventually, the bus pulled up to the front gates. Well, actually, Laurie and Marty talked, Gwen couldn’t get a word in edgewise. “Strings band,” she said, “we’re opening for Loreena McKennitt.” “No” Gwen said in the most monotone voice she could muster, “I’m stressed, what happened to you really upset me, I didn’t know what else to say.” “Are you insinuating this is my fault, Gwen?” “You know,” she chimed in, “none of that would have happened if you could do a chin up.” Meanwhile, Gwen overheard everything Laurie said. Long story short, the school cancelled the play.” “No.” Laurie laughed, “They complained about the fact that the play had saloon girls in it, thus making it somehow inappropriate, since, according to them, saloon girls are basically ‘early American Hooter’s girls’ and thus overly sexual. They didn’t complain about me getting kicked out of the play for not looking good in the costume.”

“Oh, it gets better” she said, “I told Prudence about it, and somehow, her parents got wind of it, and they complained to the school. “They kicked you out because you didn’t look good in a costume? That’s awful!” As a result, they kicked me out of the play.” I looked terrible in it, it clashed really, really badly with the red hair. “Well,” Laurie began, “the ‘Cinderella’ (well, Stacy, anyway) was supposed to wear this bright pink saloon girl outfit. “Oh, yeah,” he said, “that crazy, Wild-West version of Cinderella. “Easy” Laurie said, “the school gave them to me as compensation for the spring play getting cancelled.” “tickets for this thing usually go for 700 bucks a pop.” He still couldn’t believe that she got tickets to Worldstock, Miami’s newest and supposedly hottest world music festival.

“Laurie, how did you get tickets to this thing?” Marty asked.